Albert Einstein citat:
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all art and science.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.
Human beings, vegetables, or comic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player.
Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -how passionately I hate them!
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
Why did you leave us Albert, why! for the love of God, whyyy!:)
Quotes!! citat från någon serie, eller film, or anywere!:)
Moderator: Moderatorgruppen
Bill Cosby citat:
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on-a-rope.
A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
When you become senile, you won't know it.
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on-a-rope.
A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
When you become senile, you won't know it.
Plentiful Muddy Water + A Long Time + Many Coincidences = Civilization...yeah, right!
Och nu blandat:
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish and you get rid of him all weekend.
-- Zenna Schaffer
How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
-- Steve Martin
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
-- Steven Wright
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.
-- W.C. Fields
Some folks are wise and some otherwise.
-- Josh Billings
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
-- Jimi Hendrix
A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.
-- Unknown
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
-- Samuel Palmer
Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
-- Mae West
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
-- Marty Feldman
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish and you get rid of him all weekend.
-- Zenna Schaffer
How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
-- Steve Martin
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
-- Steven Wright
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.
-- W.C. Fields
Some folks are wise and some otherwise.
-- Josh Billings
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
-- Jimi Hendrix
A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.
-- Unknown
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
-- Samuel Palmer
Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
-- Mae West
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
-- Marty Feldman
Plentiful Muddy Water + A Long Time + Many Coincidences = Civilization...yeah, right!
Abraham Lincoln citat:
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
Whenever I hear any one arguing for slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg
And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
My experience has taught me that a man who has no vices has damned few virtues.
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
Whenever I hear any one arguing for slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg
And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
My experience has taught me that a man who has no vices has damned few virtues.
Plentiful Muddy Water + A Long Time + Many Coincidences = Civilization...yeah, right!
Issac Asimov citat:
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it's bad for you.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...’
To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it's bad for you.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...’
To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Plentiful Muddy Water + A Long Time + Many Coincidences = Civilization...yeah, right!
Steve Martin citat:
I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and I was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realised why: they're crouching and hidden.
A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.
There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that.
Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
[Introducing the best adapted screenplay]
I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.
-- (at the 2003 Oscars)
What is a movie star? A movie star is many things. They can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They can be democrats...or skinny.
-- (at the 2003 Oscars)
Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything!
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that.
I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and I was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realised why: they're crouching and hidden.
A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.
There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that.
Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
[Introducing the best adapted screenplay]
I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.
-- (at the 2003 Oscars)
What is a movie star? A movie star is many things. They can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They can be democrats...or skinny.
-- (at the 2003 Oscars)
Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything!
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that.
Plentiful Muddy Water + A Long Time + Many Coincidences = Civilization...yeah, right!
Robin Williams citat:
Spielberg is so powerful he had final cut at his own circumsision.
Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.
[Before opening an envelope for best supporting actress]
I feel like Adam when he said to Eve, `Back up, I don't know how big this gets`
-- (at the 71st Academy Awards)
[on Michael Jackson]
Honey, you gotta pick a race first. All of a sudden you're a black man, then you're Diana Ross, now you're Audrey Hepburn. Then he's got the little beard going on. He's like Lord Of The Rings, the entire cast. Michael's about to jump species.
Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time...
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
-- (from Mork and Mindy)
Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Spielberg is so powerful he had final cut at his own circumsision.
Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.
[Before opening an envelope for best supporting actress]
I feel like Adam when he said to Eve, `Back up, I don't know how big this gets`
-- (at the 71st Academy Awards)
[on Michael Jackson]
Honey, you gotta pick a race first. All of a sudden you're a black man, then you're Diana Ross, now you're Audrey Hepburn. Then he's got the little beard going on. He's like Lord Of The Rings, the entire cast. Michael's about to jump species.
Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time...
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
-- (from Mork and Mindy)
Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Plentiful Muddy Water + A Long Time + Many Coincidences = Civilization...yeah, right!
Benjamin Franklin citat:
Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girl friends.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Experience is a dear teacher, and only fools will learn from no other.
Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it.
Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girl friends.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Experience is a dear teacher, and only fools will learn from no other.
Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it.
Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
Plentiful Muddy Water + A Long Time + Many Coincidences = Civilization...yeah, right!
) 
Massor av Homer citat:
Homer: I understand. Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.
Homer: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
Homer: God bless those pagans.
Homer Simpson: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.
Dealer: 19.
Homer: Hit me!
Dealer: 20.
Homer: Hit me!
Dealer: 21.
Homer: Hit me!
Dealer: 22.
Homer: D'oh!
Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."
Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware: it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Oooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain sodium benzoate.
[Homer looks puzzled.] That's bad.!?
Homer: Can I go now?
Homer: Here are your messages: You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube
Marge: I think we're going to need a bigger place.
Homer: No, we don't. I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's room and Bart can sleep with us until he's 21.
Marge: Won't that warp him?
Homer: My cousin Frank did it.
Marge: You don't have a cousin Frank.
Homer: He became Francine in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now
Homer: I understand. Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.
Homer: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
Homer: God bless those pagans.
Homer Simpson: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.
Dealer: 19.
Homer: Hit me!
Dealer: 20.
Homer: Hit me!
Dealer: 21.
Homer: Hit me!
Dealer: 22.
Homer: D'oh!
Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."
Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware: it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Oooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain sodium benzoate.
[Homer looks puzzled.] That's bad.!?
Homer: Can I go now?
Homer: Here are your messages: You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube
Marge: I think we're going to need a bigger place.
Homer: No, we don't. I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's room and Bart can sleep with us until he's 21.
Marge: Won't that warp him?
Homer: My cousin Frank did it.
Marge: You don't have a cousin Frank.
Homer: He became Francine in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now
Plentiful Muddy Water + A Long Time + Many Coincidences = Civilization...yeah, right!
Mer Homer:
Homer: Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln?
Homer: Uh, he sold poison milk to school children.
Homer: So I says, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same color in the end.
Homer: Hey, we didn't have a message on our answering machine when we left. How very odd.
Homer: Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening
Homer: It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology.
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: Okay, I will!
Homer: When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy.
[Homer is a Blackjack dealer]
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Twenty. Your move, Mr. Bond.
James Bond: I'll take a hit, dealer. [Homer deals Bond a card.] Joker? You're supposed to take these out of the deck.
Homer: Oh, sorry, I'll give you another one.
[Homer deals Bond another card.]
James Bond: What's this? "Rules for Draw and Stud Poker"?
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: What a pity, Mr. Bond...
[Oddjob and Jaws advance on Bond and grab him.]
James Bond: But... but wait! It was Homer's fault. I can't lose! I never lose!
[Oddjob and Jaws drag Bond out of the casino.] At least tell me your plans for world domination!
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Oh ho ho, I'm not falling for THAT one again.
Homer: Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln?
Homer: Uh, he sold poison milk to school children.
Homer: So I says, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same color in the end.
Homer: Hey, we didn't have a message on our answering machine when we left. How very odd.
Homer: Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening
Homer: It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology.
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: Okay, I will!
Homer: When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy.
[Homer is a Blackjack dealer]
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Twenty. Your move, Mr. Bond.
James Bond: I'll take a hit, dealer. [Homer deals Bond a card.] Joker? You're supposed to take these out of the deck.
Homer: Oh, sorry, I'll give you another one.
[Homer deals Bond another card.]
James Bond: What's this? "Rules for Draw and Stud Poker"?
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: What a pity, Mr. Bond...
[Oddjob and Jaws advance on Bond and grab him.]
James Bond: But... but wait! It was Homer's fault. I can't lose! I never lose!
[Oddjob and Jaws drag Bond out of the casino.] At least tell me your plans for world domination!
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Oh ho ho, I'm not falling for THAT one again.
Plentiful Muddy Water + A Long Time + Many Coincidences = Civilization...yeah, right!
Japp, mer Homer:
Bart: I think sharing is overrated too. And helping others. And what's all this crap I've been hearing about tolerance?
Homer: Your ideas are intriguing and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Astra: Your husband's work is what we call "outsider art." It could be by a mental patient, a hillbilly or a chimpanzee.
Homer: In high school I was voted most likely to *be* a mental patient, hill-billy or chimpanzee!
[Homer tries to gain passage on an escape rocket.]
Homer: I am the piano genius from the movie "Shine."
Guard: And your name is...?
Homer: Uhh... Shiney McShine.
Newspaper editor: We're looking for a new food critic, someone who doesn't immediately pooh-pooh everything he eats.
Homer: Nah, it usually takes a few hours.
Homer: God, if you really are God, you'll get me tickets to that game.
[doorbell rings]
Ned Flanders: Heidely-ho, neighbor. Wanna go to the game with me? I got two tick--
Homer: [slams the door, looks heavenward] Why do you mock me, O Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there.
[Marge scrapes it off the ceiling into Homer's hands]
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- [bites] Mmm, sacrilicious.
Homer: Well Marge, have you ever seen a field glow like that?
Marge: It's eerily beautiful, but are you sure this is safe?
Homer: Of course not. But you know something?
Sometimes you have to break the rules to free your heart.
Marge: You got that from a movie poster.
Homer: Well, when there's nothing left to believe in, believe in hope.
Homer: It's like David and Goliath, only this time
David won!
Kent Brockman: Springfield has come down with a fever: football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take 2 tickets, and see the game Sunday morning.
Public Service Announcer: Warning. Tickets should NOT be taken internally.
Homer: See? Because of me, now they have a warning
Puh, slut för idag, go home Homer!
Bart: I think sharing is overrated too. And helping others. And what's all this crap I've been hearing about tolerance?
Homer: Your ideas are intriguing and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Astra: Your husband's work is what we call "outsider art." It could be by a mental patient, a hillbilly or a chimpanzee.
Homer: In high school I was voted most likely to *be* a mental patient, hill-billy or chimpanzee!
[Homer tries to gain passage on an escape rocket.]
Homer: I am the piano genius from the movie "Shine."
Guard: And your name is...?
Homer: Uhh... Shiney McShine.
Newspaper editor: We're looking for a new food critic, someone who doesn't immediately pooh-pooh everything he eats.
Homer: Nah, it usually takes a few hours.
Homer: God, if you really are God, you'll get me tickets to that game.
[doorbell rings]
Ned Flanders: Heidely-ho, neighbor. Wanna go to the game with me? I got two tick--
Homer: [slams the door, looks heavenward] Why do you mock me, O Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there.
[Marge scrapes it off the ceiling into Homer's hands]
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- [bites] Mmm, sacrilicious.
Homer: Well Marge, have you ever seen a field glow like that?
Marge: It's eerily beautiful, but are you sure this is safe?
Homer: Of course not. But you know something?
Sometimes you have to break the rules to free your heart.
Marge: You got that from a movie poster.
Homer: Well, when there's nothing left to believe in, believe in hope.
Homer: It's like David and Goliath, only this time
David won!
Kent Brockman: Springfield has come down with a fever: football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take 2 tickets, and see the game Sunday morning.
Public Service Announcer: Warning. Tickets should NOT be taken internally.
Homer: See? Because of me, now they have a warning
Puh, slut för idag, go home Homer!
Plentiful Muddy Water + A Long Time + Many Coincidences = Civilization...yeah, right!
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